So, here it is, Will's (will@b.ucsc.edu) subjective guide to the geeks at B, an ever growing monster of all those geeks on B that have made any kind of impression on me (last modified 1/5/92): Jedi -- The question still remains, does he have a fast horse, or a good horse? And will it ever save him from getting injured in basketball? Lucifer -- Definately Cool. Well that is the impression that I got from him at the last geek party where we exchanged one sentence :) (RIP) Shandon -- Egad, what a survivor. Ok, that is going overboard, how about Wowzers, what an individual who manages to exist without major catastrophic cataclism? Lechner -- My favorite line about this person, "He is the drink umbrella guy." You know, I have often asked myself, what does this mean? Oh, that is the problem, it's "The drinkum brellaguy." Much better, don't you think? Bannon -- Someone who should not even be in this list. A geek? Hah! Of course, I never have to take a class from him :) Skeeve -- Oops, I mean Aahz! How can I mix up the clod and the Pervert. Um, I mean Pervect. Now, Aahz, don't get mad, you are graduating soon and can go back to your own dimension. Beeman -- Dethroned Emperor of IBONGA. Currently accepting all replacements upon request. A damn good geek, or is that adam good geek? Mantis -- One of the only guys I have ever met that looks good with big loopy ear rings. Yes, Joel, even three-inch rings. Nirmphing away in blessed nirvana. Who's the latest love interest, hmmmm? Lydia -- So who is jumping through the hoops these days? Gristle -- A little tough to chew. Likes to make fools of other people while making a fool of himself. Not that I have ever known him to have difficulty in doing this :) Mafiosa... Banshee -- Considered by many (gristle, lafolle, banshee) to be a premier B geek. Go figure.... :) Of course, after seeing the amazing crown of drink umbrellas, I might be inclined to agree. Skreee -- The man of major hip bones. Better yet, he has licked kenelm's face in it's entirety. Lafolle -- Someone once said, "I think, therefore, I am." This, of course, does not imply that someone who doesn't think, ain't. This also does not imply that someone who listens to Debbie Gibson, hails from Redneck, USA, and is one of the most pleasant insulters you are ever likely to meet does not think. "Oh, Madwoman, walking down the street. Oh, Madwoman, who I'd never meet. Oh, Madwoman, I can't believe you, it's not the truth, Orbison's dead and you've changed too..." Kenelm -- Far too suave and sophisticated to ever log in. Keeps her face young and beautiful through the use of MUD. A veritable sex goddess -- known for making hip bones swell. Lorax -- Learning how to be suave and sophisticated. Keeps her face young and beautiful through the use of youth. Judoka -- What a bum, total waste of time, and the only reason that I can say these things about him is because he was a student in a class I taught. Likes to log in at 3 am. A quality geek. (RIP) *sniff* Hugo -- "Follow the yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road, fala fala fala fala it's off to Sweden he goes." Odin -- Well, Odin certainly makes me feel like sacrificing in the traditional manner -- said sacrificial offering is first forced to run the 7 minute mile, then dragged into the torture room to lift weights until exhausted, then forced to try and sleep while being kicked all night long. What a life. Unknown -- Not much of this user is known, a complete enigma, sometimes referred to as the unknown user. Previous owner of the incredible Montana throat beard. Turing -- We like to affectionately call him, turing. Genius is an understatement for this user...he is....a grad student! :) Also, housemate and chief black-mail artist to account Will. Jade -- Notice how often this user is logged in? Almost never seen logged in without Judoka, but much more clever. Don't get caught between their snappy patter, it might broaden your mind too much. She tastes great, rumors say, or is it less filling? Andreas -- Besides her wonderful taste in men :) she has one of the cutest smiles...She's kosher, too. Don't forget, she is a genius, even if she isn't a grad student :) Never to be outdone, she has decided to accept the proposal of the Rat Phinque, and, even as you read this, prepares for a lifelong extravaganza of being married to him. You gotta love it, cause I love her! See Kresge_Mice below. Avatar -- She has this way of juggling balls, I think you have to experience it for yourself. You know her motto, "Juggle naked" Owner of the Space Alien. Coyote -- Spends too much time with the Flemish Secretary, but then again, so do we all. (RIP) Carina -- This one can dance =-) and likes math, too! "Out of the lab, right now!" Besides, she thinks she is going to graduate this year. Hah! Zurena -- Award for the five year login name. This person can dance, too! Make that six years :( Wolfpup -- Definitely Engineering Material! Or is that a philosophical statement? Nope, Biological in nature, I am certain of it. Morisey -- Very healthy, and this person dates an alien. Eeyore -- I am positive that this geek (sick) took this name to placate that nympho gerbil killing SO. Everytime that I was disturbed from slumber last year because of these two, I always heard, "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .... oh" Poor Gerbils Dragon -- Redefines the word relaxed. Has survived an attack by an attack of wolves, as I hear it, or was it just one? Aaron -- As if he needs to see his name in another place... :) (RIP) Bobeson -- See above, or better yet, ask him yourself. :) Spcecdt -- A Stratospheric type of guy. I think that the best description I have ever heard of him is, "The only guy that would think that 'deeptht' stood for deep thought." Don't prove me wrong! Wraith -- Fading in and out....Anyone seen Wraith lately, except at a party, of course. Whoops! Back again for another quarter, duck your head and lift your tail! (heh heh, that was not intended as a sexual comment, Cameron) Frediby -- Affectionatly known as Krueger. Should take an extended course jokes anonymous. Woops, make that account Cris. Tarim -- Here one day, the next? *Poof* Now, ex-Tarim, otherwise known as Glaeken, er, um, Pweent. (Silly Scottish Sap) Spiff -- Only met an extremely drunken Spiff. The question that I have is, is there a difference between a sober spiff, and a inebriated spiff, and a happy spiff. The only person at UCSC who I have heard described as a "Yuppie". :-) Now, who have I forgotten. Oh, yeah, the Kresge_Mice..... Jillcoy -- Definite party animal! Difficult to get out of the bath tub... Wait, that was his moustache, not him. JJmouse -- Drat, can't think of anything bad to say about this person :) Of course, the way he plays football, I would rather not say anything bad about him :) That's it, let's play mouse-ball. Simple rules, run around the field until Will get's exhausted. Poor guy doesn't have a lucky sister, no yuppies will marry into that family :) Ekim -- Has harder elbows than his head.....smile man. Mickey -- Old McDonald had a mouse, ee-i ee-i oh! The list goes on..... Detctiv -- The John Elway of Sunday afternoon football games. Course, the only time I saw John Elway play was against the 49rs in the Superbowl. OK, I was wrong, it is more like Fran Tarkington. Whenever I see him play, I have to say "that's incredible." Joshin -- Nickel and Dime man. Rolls like a nickel, turns on a dime. Currently a tortured soul of the Iniquitous TA. Gremlin -- What is a person like this doing in CIS, anyway? Quite a torturous little daemon. Borneo -- Hasn't changed his hair lately, but then again, there isn't that much left after his last hair cut. (RIP) Dev -- Known for his habit of shaving twice a year. This leads two different logical states: Fuzzy, or Non-Fuzzy. Gknee -- I like this login name. Say it a few times to yourself. "She's gonna be a dahktor." Circe -- Why do all men act like pigs when they get around this account. Could it be magic? No woman is an island, but say those magic words "Iyoo stewb eetan anda" and you may be enlightened. Diraq -- Hey, in Russian (with a bit of imagination) this translates to "fool". Urbndv8 -- I like this name, too. This one is a professional, folks. :) Ginger -- The Princess of Cuteness. Czmax -- The Prince of Cuteness. Younger brother of the tormentor. Yo! Max! Did I really give a passing grade? I will have to go back and change it. Umlaut -- Obviously, a genius, er, um, grad student. Edie -- It must be her parents' fault. But can she ever direct! (RIP) Membio -- The Oregon woman -- she seems to have this affinity for rain. Seaweed -- The first geek (sic) that I have met that really looked like I expected him/her to look. Obviously, a man of taste and quality. (Well, he liked my posts =-P (RIP :( ) Astoria -- Ok, a purple hat. That really says it all as far as I am concerned. :) Well not enough, I forgot to add that she is a high priestess of the Ratican (tm). Cerebus -- The Ratican Heretic! To say nothing of the fact that he has actually claimed to have respect for the "demonic hissing things" (tm), he likes to think that a kilt is a proper outfit for anyone besides a Sassenootch. Uberman -- It's over, man. It is all over, man. Who would ever believe that goats were better than sheep, anyway? Sinster -- Defines the word, "engineer" to a "T" Would spend an hour Trying to shave a second off of program time. Said to be an argumentative one. Of course, you would be too if you were taking grad classes as an undergrad :) Ikaria -- The workout woman from hell! Right, turing? Ratican High Priestess #2, and purveyor of poor rat poetry. Sorka -- Ratican High Priestess #3, Slave #1, and general workout maniac. Hey! Alan, I need a reader this quarter :) Autumn -- The Ratican Sacrificial Virgin. (hoo boy, am I gonna get if anyone reads this one :) Falcon -- High flying eagle constantly being dragged down by the turkeys of life. :) Ericsan -- This is just something that I overheard at a party: "You should see what this person looks like in a pair of jeans... ...*sigh*" Mine -- Ultimate goal in life: Make it through the mill. While I must admit to having some strange goals, I always thought that this person could rise above this seemingly senseless goal. I mean, what is a BA worth these days if you haven't got a nice A. (not that Mine doesn't ;-) Dove -- We call him, "Sun Man" But then, we also call him the latka Rabbi, and the Victual Guru. Soon to be the French Filleter. Oh, can't forget the tortured souls..... Curtain -- Court Jester and brilliant cook. Known affectionately as Rufferto. Bigben -- Chimes in time with the passing of the programming hours. Bads -- An exceptional soul, has learned to deal with the hardship of cruel TA's and gets assignments done (on-time...amazing) Nizam -- Affectionately referred to as Slave #2 for his role as a reader, but now he, too, has become a tortured soul and shall feel the might of The Iniquitous TA. Saiko -- Not yet a tortured soul, but this person just found out that assembly language is a requirement for all CE/CIS. There is nothing better than finding out that the undergrads refer to 12C as Will's class! }:] Umm, are there any accounts left? Peanut -- We all know that Melanie is the real brains behind this dynamic duo. Yvonne --"Hello, I am Yvonne, your cruise director, and...excuse me? Yes, that is Yvonne. What? EE-Vawn. Yes, as in Von's drug drug store. Anyway, welcome to....Excuse me? No, this is not the Love Boat. The Love Boat wouldn't allow all these cute and fuzzy animals on board. NO! You may not run them over. Hey! Knock that off! Leave that duck alone!" Gollum -- If I ever needed someone to translate Tolken into the appropriate dialect, I would ask this geek. Heck, I sat right next to him while he was typing and I couldn't figure out what he was trying to say (of course, he wasn't looking either, so he may not have known :) Cat -- On the fourth day, Cat created God, and saw that it was good. Cat also avoids Gasoline engines, as desyl engines are much more highly prized. God -- On the fifth day, God realized what a silly book the bible would be if it told the truth, so a deal was made with Cat to obscure the truth of it all. Besides, Man would never know the difference. Desyl -- Like all other fossil fuels, Desyl has had her glory days and has pushed her youth far behind her. In fact, recent studies have shown that Desyl has been used for nineteen years now. Daryl -- Stolen away from his true home in Texarkana, Texas, as a young lad, Daryl mistakenly operates under the assumption that he will make some important contribution to the world. Lettuce -- An up and coming vegetable geek. Watch out for his friends, Carrot, Cucumber, and especially Beet. Salguod -- Five years and no licking, why is it that he keeps ticking? Could it be that deep in space, nobody recognizes his face? No, not him, do not worry, for he's not in a flurry. His major is CMPE, and he says "Please don't rescue me." Omni -- Ever notice that this person wears no hat, and is very safe to dance with? Could it be? Nah...Who could mistake that late lamented music group with the Omnipresent OmniRat. And, finally, Will -- An exceptionally opinionated Latka King and evil, mean, cruel, and nasty (iniquitous) TA. Also known as the Rat Fink (Phinque). And especially best known as "Andrea's fiance". Yes true believers, I am her property. The only thing that I am not (yet) is her husband =-) But, don't worry about me, before too long, bachelorhood shall no longer be associated with my name as I ride of into the sunset with my wonderful wife! Warning, I am not responsible for any of my opinions. OK, enough people (two) have asked me to keep this file, so I have a new motto.....come and meet me, it won't hurt much. ----- End Included Message ----- ----- End Included Message -----